6 self-care tips inspired by the surgeon general’s parent mental health advisory

in this article

• Parents Under Pressure: the Surgeon General's advisory 
• 6 self-care tips for parents
• free download: self-care wheel 

U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy released an advisory titled "Parents Under Pressure," highlighting the mental health and well-being of parents across the country.  

A Surgeon General’s Advisory is a public statement designed to draw attention to an urgent public health issue and offer recommendations on how to address it. 

The report has findings that are concerning including:  

• 33% of parents report experiencing high levels of stress in the past month, compared to 20% of other adults. 
• 48% of parents say that most days, their stress feels completely overwhelming, while only 26% of other adults feel the same. 
• 41% of parents admit that on most days, they’re so stressed they can barely function. 

As adults, we deal with stress every day. Then on top of that, there is the pressure of parenting our children well. On Our Sleeves is providing you with the following ideas to help manage stress as we strive to provide our best self when parenting our children.  

6 self-care tips to try 

1. Connect with others: When we prioritize our own friendships, we model for our children what healthy relationships look like. It also helps us to de-stress and refill our cups! Prioritize seeing your friends or getting together with other families. Building a support network of parents with children at different ages can provide you with an opportunity to share your knowledge and experience while also learning from others who have already been through the phase you are in. Here are some real ways you can work on connecting with others today: 

• Introduce yourself to one adult at your kid’s activity.  
• Text three friends to set up a coffee or dinner meet-up. 
• Invite another family to the park with your family or host a cookout at your house.  

2. Share the struggles: We all go through hard times, and it’s okay to admit that parenthood isn’t always sunshine and roses. Sometimes just talking with another adult about the challenges you are facing is all the help you need to get through tough issues. When you share struggles with another parent, you give them permission to open up about their struggles as well. Some simple ways to share your struggles starting today include: 

• Talk to your friend about one life struggle you are having.  
• Let a friend know you are there to support them and it is okay to have tough days. 
• Remember, counseling is helpful for everyone! You do not need to have a mental health challenge to benefit from talking with a counselor.  

3. Make time for self-care: Take care of yourself! When you take care of yourself, you feel better. Exercising, prioritizing sleep, hobbies, and a balanced diet are all activities that can relieve stress and make you an overall healthier person. When you prioritize your own health, you show your children what it looks like to love and care for yourself. Sometimes when we hear someone say to “practice self-care” we get even more overwhelmed because it feels like another thing on our “to-do” list. Self-care does not have to be time-consuming or expensive. Self-care can be small things we do to make our lives better. Just pick one thing to do for a few weeks and see how you feel, here are some ideas: 

• Move your body for 15 minutes today (go for a walk, run or have a dance party). 
• Go to bed early. Seriously, just try it!
• Make a “date” with yourself to spend time doing a favorite hobby, and don't forget to PUT IT ON THE CALENDAR! 

4. Share the load: There are a lot of responsibilities that come with parenthood. It is impossible to try to do everything by yourself. So, reach out for help! There are people in your children’s lives that would love to help you out. Asking for help doesn’t make you less of a parent, it means that you are able to see what needs to be prioritized and find resources to fill in the gaps. Here are some ways to make sharing the load a reality: 

• Make a list of the people you can reach out to for help with carpooling. Reach out to one this week. 
• Teach your kids how to do one task that can make your life easier (pack their own lunch, do their laundry, empty the dishwasher, etc.) 
• Say “no” to activities that you don’t have time or energy for.  

5. Say no to "shoulds": That little voice in our head telling us we are doing it all wrong and “should” be doing it a different way can get loud at times! Times have changed from when you were growing up and it is okay to want to raise your children differently from how you were raised. Step into your power as a parent and raise your children the way YOU want to, not what society or people in your social circle feel you should do. To say no to should, here are some things you can start: 

• Write down the values you want to instill in your children. 
• Whenever a “should” thought pops into your head say “NO!” and think about something else. 
• Reflect on the positives you are seeing in your children and celebrate your role in their success. 

6. Plan fun times: Laughing is sometimes the best antidote to stress! Having fun is a vital part to your overall mental wellbeing. You can find fun in small things like singing while doing the dishes or you can take an afternoon to go enjoy yourself. Try some of these ideas to put the fun in your day!  

• Plan a fun activity for your family and put it on the calendar. It can be a free event like going to the park! 
• Make a plan with adult friends to have some time away from the kids. If childcare is an issue, invite them over after your kids have gone to bed. 
• Make the simple things fun: Eat dessert first, eat breakfast outside on a blanket, have a dance party while folding laundry.  

Stress will always be a part of our lives, but these practical tips can help if you give them a try! But don't be discouraged if they don't work once! Try them once (or a few times) to see what will work best for you as both a person and a parent.  

If you've found something that works, break the stigma by sharing your thoughts with us on social media! Use the hashtag #OnOurSleeves or tag @childrensdayton to join the conversation ! This way, we can help each other! 

strategize your self-care with this free worksheet

Now that you've got some ideas for how to practice self-care, create a strategy plan to prioritize your wellness. Download this Self-Care Wheel printable worksheet, created by Dayton Children's Behavioral Health department, to help guide you. Here's how to use it:  

• Fill out each category with at least one idea for how you can practice self-care. Use some of the tips above if you're stuck!
• Whenever you start to feel the effects of stress, pick one of the activities and try engaging in it until you feel the stress slipping away.   
• (Optional) Take a photo and share it with the world! Sharing how you do self-care can not only break the stigma surrounding mental health, it can give someone else the permission they need to focus on managing their own stress and mental wellness. You can share your photo by tagging @daytonchildrens on Facebook or Instagram and using the hashtags #OnOurSleeves or  #ClassroomChampions 

More resources 

If you're looking for access to even more  resources to help you on your journey to supporting children's mental health, you'll want to become a part of the On Our Sleeves e-community! Our mission is to get our free, expert-created resources to as many caring adults in our communities so that everyone can understand and promote mental health for children.

Join us on this mission, by clicking the orange button below! You'll be signed up to start receiving monthly free content and resources to help you support the mental wellness of children in your life and break the stigma surrounding mental health. You'll also be the first to know about special giveaways like our Activity Book and Conversation Starter Cards.

join the movement

The well-being of parents and caregivers is a public health priority, and we must do more to protect their mental health. The Advisory offers actionable recommendations on how to support parents and caregivers through policy changes, community programs, and individual actions. To learn more about the Surgeon General's Advisory on Parent Mental Health, click here.