teaching kids how to handle stress

in this article: 

• the definition of stress
• how to help kids cope with stress
• free download to support kids dealing with stress

Kids deal with stress just like we do—but they don’t always know how to handle it. The good news is, you can help them! Teaching kids ways to manage stress can help them build confidence and resilience for the future. Let’s talk about some simple ways to support them!

stress 101

Stress happens as a response to a specific situation or event. Stress often happens when a person feels that they don’t have enough resources (like support, time, skill or energy) to accomplish what they need to do.

Stress is often thought of as negative. Even stress that doesn’t last long can be tough if it feels too overwhelming. When that happens, it can lead to feelings of sadness or other tough emotions.

Stress can also have a negative impact on both physical and mental health. Chronic stress is stress that continues for a long time without a way to escape it. It can happen when kids face challenges at school—like bullying or struggling with schoolwork—or when they’re dealing with tough situations at home, like family problems.

But some stressors can be helpful, like when a child has to give a presentation in front of class. In this case, the stress may make the child motivated to work on their presentation ahead of time and take time to practice it too. Short-term stress that boosts motivation and goes away after the challenge is over can be positive.

how to help kids cope with stress

We can’t always prevent kids from feeling stress, but we can give them the tools to handle it. Sharing these tips with the kids in your life will help them cope with tough situations and build resilience.

• Recognize the signs of stress: Kids may not always notice when they’re stressed, but there are signs that can help you spot it. According to the American Psychological Association, kids might show stress through:
  • Acting out
  • Expressing anger
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Changes in appetite (eating more or less than usual) 
  • Skipping out on responsibilities
  • Physical illness or symptoms (sweaty palms, stomachaches, etc.)
    • These physical sensations can be confusing or upsetting to kids. You can help children recognize these signs of stress so that they’re more aware of what’s happening in their bodies!
• Focus on healthy habits: Getting enough sleep at night, taking time to be physically active and eating well can help both physical and mental health. Engaging in healthy behaviors will help prepare the body to better respond to stress. Create daily routines that focus on healthy habits to help your kids consistently practice this way to cope with stress. 
• Try coping techniques: Kids may need help thinking of ways to help them feel better when they are feeling stressed. One way to help them is by having them come up with ideas of activities that bring them joy. Another way you can help is by teaching and practicing relaxing strategies like  deep breathing and mindfulness.
• Promote positive self-talk: Negative self-talk happens often when children are stressed. Teaching kids that their thoughts play a role in how they handle a situation and helping them learn to reframe their thoughts to more helpful ones can make a big difference in their mental health. 
• Make goals: One way to reduce stress is by making goals. It teaches kids how to break big challenges into smaller pieces. Help them determine what tasks should be given priority and show your support as they work through it. 

free download to help kids handling stress

Along with sharing tips to help kids cope with stress, there are ways that you, as the adult in their life, can show your support for them when they're facing a stressful time. Here are some ways you can show up: 

• Be a role model: Kids learn a lot by watching the adults in their lives. To help your kids handle stress, you can be intentional about the way you respond to stressors yourself. 
• Listen: Processing feelings with a trusted adult can be a valuable tool for children. It’s important that we take time to listen and learn what may be causing them stress.

If you're looking for ways to start the conversation about stress, download our our free Conversation Starters about Stress worksheet (also available in Spanish) and use the prompts to start your discussion. 

When you're having the discussion, remember to ask if the child wants your advice rather than offering it.

more resources for children's mental health

Experiencing stress is a normal part of life, even for children. Learning more about childhood stress and how you can support the kids in your life is a way to help them through stress. You can give kids the tools they need to to cope with and manage challenging situations. However, if your child’s stress is lasting longer than two weeks and they are struggling to cope, you may want to talk with your child’s medical provider or school counselor. 

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