In this article

• What is positive reinforcement? 
• Ideas for ways to show positive reinforcement
• Free download: Rewarding Positive Behaviors tip sheet

Let’s talk about reinforcing positive behaviors! 

We’ve talked about avoiding unwanted behaviors and utilizing positive parenting techniques with children. But what about when we want to acknowledge a child for rising to our expectations and making positive progress? 

That’s when we want to reinforce positive behaviors! 

Reinforcing positive behaviors is not the same as bribing. Reinforcing positive behaviors can include providing praise, high fives, and attention to the behaviors you would like to encourage in your child. 

practical ways to give praise and positive reinforcement: 

• Use a small poster board (or cut a big one) and find some of your child’s favorite characters on stickers. Each time they complete their chores or morning routine let them put a sticker on their poster board. You could also use a colorful marker or pen and draw smiley faces instead of using stickers. Have the poster board in their room somewhere where they can see it daily and show it off to family and friends. 
• Write positive notes on post-its to hang up on the child’s door, on the bathroom mirror, or on a poster that they can hang up in their room to look at daily. Be specific in your praise. For example, instead of saying “you are awesome,” try using “you are helpful when you dust the house” or “you are creative and I love the picture you drew for me” or even, “you are kind to your friends by inviting them over to play.”  
• When you give praise, avoid the word “but” because it cancels out the positive you just gave. For example, "You are kind to your friends BUT when you try to tell them what game to play you sound bossy.” Instead, try “you are so kind when you let your friends pick what game to play!” 
• Use rewards that do not cost any money like getting to pick the dinner that night, letting them pick the movie, allowing them to stay up 5 minutes later, picking which park to go to, picking what board game to play, or going around the table and give each person a compliment.  
• Remember to tell your child you enjoy spending time with them!! 

how to help children accept praise and compliments 

Another form of positive reinforcement is giving praise and compliments.  

Have you ever noticed when you try to give someone a compliment and they look down to avoid eye contact, cover their face, or make a negative comment about themselves?  

Some kids (and even adults) might have a hard time accepting praise or compliments. Here are some ways you can help them (and yourself): 

• Role play accepting a compliment with your child by taking turns. Teach them that when they receive a compliment they can look the other person in the eyes, smile, and say “thank you.” 
• Provide the positive phrase as a note or in a more subtle way. For example, by giving a smile or a thumbs up. 
• Focus on their progress and hard work rather than on them doing something perfect or correct. 
• Read books about accepting compliments. Here is one to try: "Thanks for the Feedback…I Think: My Story About Accepting Criticism and Compliments…The Right Way!" By Julia Cook  

free download! reward positive behaviors tip sheet  

Encouraging and praising positive behavior may help increase those positive moments in your home or classroom. This can have mental health benefits for everyone! You can help motivate your child's positive behavior by sharing specific rewards that they care about! 

If you’re looking for ideas, download and print this free guide to help you choose the rewards that will best motivate your child. Download and print this free guide to help you choose the rewards that will best motivate your child. Click here to download the guide in Spanish. 

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