4 ways to help your kids manage test anxiety

in this blog: 

• where test anxiety comes from
• how to talk to your kids about test anxiety 
• download our free test strategy tip-sheet

Feeling a little stressed or nervous before a test can help some kids focus and do their best. But if their anxiety grows, it can cause problems in the classroom.

Anyone can experience test anxiety, but some kids are more likely to struggle with it if they have learning challenges or other conditions like ADHD. And at times, exam stress can go beyond pre-test jitters and turn into ongoing anxiety or panic attacks.

Kids of all ages can deal with test anxiety. Younger kids may not understand why testing keeps getting talked about at school or may have a hard time sitting still for longer tests. Teens may feel extra pressure, knowing their test scores can impact their future.

That’s why it’s so important to teach kids how to deal with test stress. Doing so can help them create healthy habits for the future, build their self-confidence and support their mental health.

Here are some ways you can support kids in dealing with their test stress.

start the conversation about testing:

1. Listen: Let the kid know that you’re here to listen to their worries about taking the test. See if they can figure out what about the test is making hem feel nervous...are they worried about results, or do they have a hard time paying attention when the room goes quiet? Be a sounding board to give your kid a safe place to process their feelings. Having someone to talk to may be all they need to do their best.

2. Offer perspective: Ask open-ended questions to spark a discussion, because sometimes talking about testing helps. If you think it’ll help your kid, share your own stories about dealing with test anxiety. For older kids, it’s important to empathize with what they’re feeling and gently remind them that doing their best is enough. For example, even if they don’t score as high as they’d like to, chances are one test won’t alter the direction of their lives.

3. Skip the pressure: It’s likely that a kid who’s stressed about doing their best on a test doesn’t need added pressure. Sometimes, we put the pressure on children even indirectly. Think about how you speak with your kid and avoid comments that may put additional stress on them.

4. Add the positives: A compliment can go a long way. Remind your kid that you see how much they studied and prepared. Maybe set up a reward for getting through the test, no matter how it goes. Or remind them that you’re really proud to have a child who cares about their success at school. Make sure to remind them that the most important thing is for them to try their hardest and do what their best is!

free download: tips for tackling test anxiety

Here’s a few actions you can take help to teach kids how to cope with exam anxiety. If you want to print these and keep them in a place where you can see them during test season, download our tip-sheet (also available to download in Spanish).

1. Create a study plan. When students study before a test, it can help them feel confident at test time. Talk about testing strategies like taking time to read the directions, reviewing the test when they’re done or taking a break from studying. You can also take practice tests. You may want to make a visual checklist of how the student can prepare for the test.

2. Talk about test day. Exams may be a new—or even scary—experience for a child. Run through the day verbally, from how the child will prepare the night before to what they’ll do if they get stuck on a hard question during the exam. Help the child anticipate some things that make them anxious and offer solutions (“I may freeze up on a question. If so, I’ll just close my eyes, take a deep breath and read it again.”). Some kids may respond to a “What’s the worst that can happen?” question, which you can then respond “And then what?” back and forth until the level of anxiety goes down and they see it more realistically.

3. Practice positive thinking. Negative self-talk can make exam stress spiral out of control. If your child has negative thoughts, encourage them to try to find kinder replacements. (For example, if the child says, “I’m just stupid.” Ask them to examine that thought. Give them some examples of how that is not true. Encourage them to come up with a response like, “I try my best," “I did a great job on that presentation last week” or “A test score won’t always reflect how smart and capable I am.”

4. Introduce relaxation. Teach the child some breathing or mindfulness techniques so they feel equipped in case they get anxious. Remind them that just because a little anxiety creeps in doesn’t mean the exam is doomed.

5. Take care ahead of time. Encourage getting good rest the night before their test and eating healthy whole foods on the day of the test. This can help fuel them to perform their best.

explore more On Our Sleeves resources 

If your child has state testing or standardized testing coming up and you're curious about helping  manage test anxiety and feel ready, visit our blog about practical ways to help your child with state tests. 

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