a guide for supporting a teen who reaches out for mental health help

A teen has just come to you asking for serious help. Maybe they’ve said something like: 

• “I don’t feel like myself anymore.” 
• "I need to let you know that I am struggling."
• “Life feels like too much to handle and I don’t want to do it anymore.” 

Hearing these words or any like them may feel earth-shattering. As caring adults to kids and teens, whether you’re a parent, teacher, coach or neighbor, our instinct is to step in and protect, but it’s not always easy to know where to begin or how best to help.

“Know that you are not alone in supporting a teen going through a tough time and there are resources out there to help,” shares Emily Weitz, children’s mental health expert. 

Although this is a serious and critical moment, the fact that this teen reached out to you is a powerful first step for them- it shows that they trust you and are open to support. The conversation might be to get something off of their chest, or you may find out that they need professional support.  In this blog the On Our Sleeves experts will guide you through how to support a teen, how to connect them to professional support, and what to do when they are experiencing a mental health crisis. 

creating safe spaces for teens who reach out for mental health help 

1. Take time to listen

Start by assuring them that they have found a safe space to talk. If you can, take them to a quiet and private place where they can speak openly. Show the teen that you are fully present by nodding, maintaining eye contact, and not interrupting. 

2. Ask questions

Start with open-ended questions to encourage them to share. You can try: 

• “I hear that you are feeling bad right now. Can you tell me more about that?” 
• “What do you mean by that?” 
• “Tell me more about what has been going on.” 
• “How long have you been feeling that way?” 
• “What happened?” 

If these open-ended questions don’t seem to be working and your teen is struggling to open up, they may find it easier to answer more direct questions. Try asking: 

• “How are your friendships or relationships going?” 
• “How are you feeling about your grades at school?” 
• “How is it going at school with the other kids in your class or with your teacher?” 
• “How are things going at home?” 

These more specific questions can help you identify areas where your teen might be struggling, 

3. Acknowledge their bravery

Remember to ask one question at a time and give them space to respond. If they answer your questions with, “I don’t know,” or begin to shut down, you can acknowledge to them that discussing personal struggles can be hard. Follow that up with another more focused question to help continue guiding the conversation. 

7 important signs that a teen needs more support  

Sometimes, while talking with a teen, you might notice or hear signs that they could benefit from talking with a mental health professional. Signs like:  

1. Emotions that seem much more extreme than the situation calls for (like distress, hopelessness or uncontrolled crying). 
2. Loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed.  
3. Changes in appetite (eating more than usual or less than usual). 
4. Physical symptoms that keep them from normal activities (like shaking, headaches or stomach aches). 
5. Avoiding common activities or refusing to take part in social activities  
6. Sleep problems that continue over time, including refusing to sleep alone or nightmares. 
7. Needing constant reassurance and comfort for common situations 

Some of these signs may seem like regular teen behaviors. To help you determine if this is a more serious situation, ask yourself:  

• Is this a change from their normal behavior?  
• Has it lasted more than 2 weeks?  
• Are they having a large reaction and unable to calm down?  

how to get professional help for a teen who needs more support 

Dayton Children's offers a Mental Health Resource Connection program as a service that connects patients and families to available mental health services in the community. If you have a teen who needs more support, you can reach out to the Dayton Children’s Mental Health Resource Connection for assistance with making an appointment or finding an outpatient therapist. There are three ways you can get in contact: 

1. Access the online directory.   
2. Fill out this online form to receive resources emailed to you by a mental health resource specialist.  
3. Call the parent line (937-641-5243) to talk to a mental health resource specialist.   

educators/school counselors

If you are in a school setting, try connecting the teen with a school counselor first. Not all school counselors are able to do therapy with students, but they can be a hub to help the student get connected. Some schools also have mental health counselors available to see students during the day.  

You can also direct parents to utilize the Dayton Children’s Mental Health Resource Connection.

what to do if a teen is experiencing a mental health crisis 

If while talking to a teen you become concerned for their safety, getting them connected to crisis services is a must.

Signals a teen’s safety is at risk: 

• Saying statements like: “Everyone would be better off without me” 
• Talking about killing themselves, saying they are a burden to others, say they have no reason to live, or saying they feel trapped. 
• Looking for methods to end their lives 
• Isolating from friends and family 
• Giving away prized possessions 
• Saying goodbye to people 

If you notice any of these signs, here are some ways to get the teen connected to professional help

parents/caregivers

As a parent or caregiver, you can get a crisis assessment for your child in several different ways:   

• Visit Dayton Children’s Hospital Crisis Center (located at the main campus through the Emergency Department). 
  • Hours:  
    • Monday-Friday 8:00 am to midnight
    • Saturday and Sunday 12:00 pm to midnight
    • Contact 937-641-4480    
• Go to the Emergency Department at Dayton Children’s Hospital
  • Open 24/7   
  • South Campus Location: 3333 West Tech Road Miamisburg, OH 45342
  • Main Campus Location: 1 Children's Plaza, Dayton, OH 45404
• Call Montgomery County Ohio Crisis Now (also known as Montgomery County Emergency Behavioral Health Services)
  • Phone number: 833-580-2255  
• Call or Text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
  • Dial 988

If, after having a thorough conversation with your child, you feel comfortable and assured that your child’s immediate safety is not at risk, you should make an appointment to see an outpatient therapist.

educators/school counselors

• If you are an educator or school counselor who becomes concerned for a teens safety, immediately inform their parent or caregiver and connect them to crisis services immediately so that they can receive a crisis assessment.
• Continue to follow up with the teen regardless of the outcome. It is helpful to keep that door open and show the teen you support them. If you know that they were seen at the hospital, follow up with them and their parents and see how you can best support them. Remind the teen that you are there to listen and help them.   

how to support a teen who needs help if you are not their legal guardian  

Having adults other than their parents to talk to can be beneficial for teens to share what's on their mind. If you are one of those people. If, while you are having a conversation with a teen you recognize some of the signs that they may need more mental health help here is what you can do: 

• Connect with the caregiver: It is crucial to reach out to the teen’s guardian to share your concerns. While this might feel like a betrayal of the teen’s trust, and you may feel pressured to keep their struggles confidential, it’s important to remember that a teen's mental health is too significant to be kept a secret. They need a support network, especially during a crisis, and it’s essential to respect the role of their guardian in their upbringing. 
• Be upfront: Before you speak with the parent, let the teen know that you will need to share this information with their guardian to help them get the support they need. Being upfront about your intentions helps maintain trust. Setting these expectations early on can ease any anxiety the teen may feel about you involving their guardian. 
• Offer your support: You can offer to talk to the guardian with the teen or let the teen listen in to your conversation with that guardian if it will make them feel more comfortable. 

more resources 

If you’re looking for more ways to support others and discuss mental health, join the movement of On Our Sleeves. We believe that no family should struggle alone in their journey with mental health. Check out more resources and guides, here.