4/3/23 blog post
how to help a child with anxious feelings
We’ve all felt nervous or worried from time to time and our kids are no exception. Did you know that avoiding anxiety can make it stronger? By helping kids move forward while still feeling anxious, we can help them to do things while afraid.
You can use this free worksheet to discuss anxiety even more with your child!
If you're ready to start a conversation with your child, read our parent's guide to talking about anxiety blog.
getting started
Listen and support their feelings, even if you can’t relate. You may think they’re worrying about something silly, but take the time to hear them out. You may want to say something like, “It looks like you’re feeling nervous. Can you tell me what you’re concerned about?”
Here are some other phrases that may create anxious feelings and phrases to try instead:
facing fears
Once you’ve heard them out, you can help them by safely encouraging them to move toward the thing they’re nervous about. The fears may not disappear, but avoiding things that make us anxious actually builds anxiety.
Move through and past fears by helping your child:
- Take something they’re worried about and separate it into smaller steps that feel more manageable.
- Rehearse actions or conversations they’re concerned about with you or with someone they feel safe with.
- Take action on one thing that they’re scared of this week.
- Remind them that you’re here for them and that they’ll have fewer anxious feelings as they take small steps forward and practice new skills.
allow small distractions
Distraction doesn’t have to be a bad word. If your child is waiting to receive a shot and is getting more and more worried, having an activity they can focus on, playing a game on your phone or looking at photos can help take their mind off their anxiety.
Relaxation and meditation can be other helpful strategies when anxious feelings flare up. Teach your child these skills at a calm time and help them practice so that they’re ready when stressful times occur.
build awareness of anxious feelings
Many times, children aren’t aware of their feelings and how it feels in their body. Download our How My Body Feels When I’m Anxious worksheet and go over it with your child.
Help them think through how it affects their thoughts and their bodies. Do they:
- Clench their fists when they’re worried?
- Chew on their fingernails?
- Breathe faster?
By helping them identify how anxiety feels in their bodies, they can be more aware when they need to practice deep breathing or other relaxation exercises.
when do we need more help?
Feelings of nervousness, worry and anxiety are common in children. However, it can become an anxiety disorder if it’s stopping them from doing things they would like to or need to do.
Watch for:
- Feelings that seem much more extreme than the situation (such as distress, hopelessness, uncontrolled crying)
- Symptoms in their body that keep them from normal activities, including shaking, headaches or stomach aches
- Avoidance of common activities or refusing to take part in social activities
- Sleep problems that continue over time, including refusing to sleep alone or nightmares
- Repeatedly having to offer reassurance and comfort for common situations
If you see these kinds of behaviors repeatedly, you may want to speak to your pediatrician, your child’s teacher or school counselor or contact a mental health professional.
If you need help finding a mental health professional, visit Dayton Children's Mental Health Resource Connection directory.
free anxiety worksheet for families
When your child is feeling worried or anxious, they can draw how their body is feeling inside. Maybe they feel like there are bees buzzing in their stomach! Or is there a tornado of worries swirling in their head? Help them to map it all out using the How My Body Feels When
I’m Anxious worksheet.
Download this free worksheet and use it with your children.
Also available to download en español.
join the movement
We believe that no family should struggle alone in their journey with mental health. That's why we created the On Our Sleeves e-community. By joining the movement, you'll receive monthly free content and resources to help you support the mental wellness of children in your life and break the stigma surrounding mental health.
